Positive thinking is hardest when I'm tired. It's easy to let the negative voice shout louder. It would be easy to give into it. Writing this in itself is a positive thing. I've been told before that I should use my writing skills. I'm not sure this is exactly what "they" meant but never mind.
Several times today I've seen a quotation attributed to the late Muhammad Ali: " Don't count the days, make the days count." I've certainly been incredibly guilty of the former. It's x number of days until... I've done such and such for however long... And... so what? I've regularly used a countdown app to monitor how long it is until something I've been looking forward to. But I've been guilty of looking into the future and ignoring the now. Or looking back to when I last did something (perhaps something I've stopped doing for the right reason?) and focusing too much on the past and again, ignoring the now. The video I posted yesterday talked about today being "current". Today should be celebrated. Not sure I quite subscribe to the "today could be the best day of my life" theory as I think I'll feel quite disappointed most days! But yes, today needs to be celebrated. I've achieved things. Some of my achievements may seem small and insignificant to others but some days just getting through to bedtime feels like a marathon. It's about MY achievements. What I'VE done/ thought/ realised/ said/ refrained from/ completed/ started.
I got home from a day out today, lay on my bed and felt a bit deflated. After the energy of last night and my determination, not to mention the positive feedback I've received, I was cross with myself because I didn't feel very positive. In fact I just felt exhausted. I watched some mindless YouTube videos and thought about my day. And I turned it around. I thought of positives from my day. It didn't stop me being exhausted but it made me smile.
It's felt a bit like an out of body experience today. I started the day feeling very aware that I was this new positive person and some of it felt quite contrived. I got stuck in traffic this morning and got cross and chastised myself for being annoyed!! I met a few people during the day that I hadnt seen for a while and looking back, as the day wore on I began to lose the "everything is rosy" outlook with them and became more realistic. But not pessamistic; that's a big deal for me!
I saw something on Facebook which made me smile today. "Amazing things will happen today if you choose not to be a miserable cow". I initially found it funny but it's actually very true! I wake up every morning with choices to make: what shall I wear (that doesn't generally take long to decide), what shall I have for breakfast, shall I drive or walk? A less conscious decision in the past has been about my mood and I fear I've fallen into the trap of miserable being the easier option. I don't think I've been walking around with a rain cloud over my head but I know I've not always been as cheerful as I could have been. I'm planning to create a collection of positive quotations, Bible verses, cartoons and pictures to look at each day. The miserable cow one will certainly feature.
I think I'll sleep better tonight!
No comments:
Post a Comment