I am who I am

Who I am only really matters to one person.  Me.  Obviously how I behave can have repercussions on other people, both negative and positive, but who I am shouldn't bother anyone else.

This isn't going to be a long missive about who I am. I know who I am and I'm mostly happy with me.  Society is very good at compartmentalising and labelling people and I've been guilty of this too.  I could give myself a million labels but at the end of the day I'm me.  In any case I get hung up on words like "depressed" and "single" and need to not let them define me.  Labels are very often negative in any case, so it certainly makes sense for me to avoid them if I can. 

(Disclaimer - I'm not promising to never use a label - I'm certainly not claiming to be perfect!)

Another problem with labels is that there can be a reluctance/ belief that it is impossible to leave them behind or criticism or unwelcome comments if a person changes from their labelled personality.  The truth is, I believe, that we are free to change who we are as our life experiences shape us.  In lots of ways I am very different from the person I was, say 10 years ago.  Staying the same would be quite suffocating and stagnating.  Just as the world is changing, I believe people need to change.  Maybe not dramatically, but subtly and appropriately.  That said, I don't believe in change for the sake of change.

There is the old saying "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" and I guess that's true to a point, but change could actually improve something further than it was before.  We shouldn't be afraid of change.  I used to be afraid of it; I thought I couldn't change.  I thought I was me and that was it.  I was labelled and that was that.  But something in me woke up and I now know that I can be anyone I want to be.  And I will be.

Maslow talked about actualisation as the condition that occurs when all needs are met or the fulfilment of a person's potential.  I'm a way off from that yet but I guess that's what I'm striving for.  I want to be the me I want to be, not whom I'm expected to be or I feel I should be.  If people don't like who I am, that's their problem.  I will not conform for the sake of other people's feelings any more.