Music...

One of the best things about having a day to myself is that I can choose what music I listen to! Today I'm not in the mood for anything particular so everything's on shuffle. My music tastes are pretty eclectic and have been influenced by 3 elder siblings with reasonably diverse music tastes themselves, friends, children, experiences, etc. For example, the current track "Will You" by Hazel O'Connor, reminds me of the time I was on a boat trip on the Thames with my family and someone jumped into the river (the track was playing on the radio during the trip). Sometimes songs or pieces of music remind me of less pleasant times which can make listening to them more difficult, but as I said in my last post, I can't regret anything that's happened, I'm determined to face up to any tracks that do this. Other tracks are real feel good tracks and so they get put in their own playlist. Could be the content or could just be a track with a great bassline or it makes me play air piano (Keane is a good one for that!)

Song lyrics can surprise me. I may have listened to a track dozens of times but then the lyrics jump out at me and I realise how much they relate to my life. A classic example of this is in the worship song "In Christ Alone" - I had sung this numerous times but one evening I was listening to it and was completely gobsmacked by the final lines of the final verse:


No power of hell, no scheme of man,

Can ever pluck me from His hand:

Till He returns or calls me home,

Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.

Another example is from "Firework" by Katy Perry:

Maybe a reason why all the doors are closed
So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road


And another from "Honestly OK" by Dido:

I'm so lonely I don't even want to be with myself anymore


I also enjoy listening to classical music (often on the days when I can't cope with listening to words if that makes sense) and maybe that's because of a childhood brought up on Radio 3 and 4. Again, my tastes are fairly eclectic but Vivaldi is a favourite, very possibly because of the formulaic and slightly predictable nature of his music, making it incredibly easy for me to listen to.

So what's the point of all this rambling about music and lyrics? I think it's all about memories and learning to deal with them. For me, music is incredibly evocative and can take me right back to a time in my life or a situation. I used to avoid listening to some music because it would remind me of a bad time but now I know I need to deal with it. And more importantly I feel ABLE to deal with it. It has been suggested to me that I carefully choose what I listen to and not listen to less than uplifting music and I understand the sentiment, but I've learned from everything - for example, the Dido lyric above is a reminder of where I once was and how far I've come.

I was recently tagged on Facebook to post the cover of a great album with no explanation.  There were so many I could have chosen but without too much thinking about I opted for Lovesexy by Prince.  Thinking about it, I think I have it on vinyl, cassette and CD!  It was the first Prince album I bought and there was one track, Anna Stesia, that completely entranced me; I can't explain why.  It's definitely a track that takes me right back to the late 80s, the confusion of teenagerdom and the beginnings of my fight with depression.  But I can stand up proud and say I've moved forward from those days.  Yes, it still evokes memories and feelings, but as long as I don't let those feelings overwhelm me it's ok.

And that's true of all feelings I guess - putting things in proportion is key.  Keeping negative stuff in check - not sure it's even healthy to suppress it altogether.  But I know wallowing in it definitely isn't.