It really can work!

Feeling good is like a drug. You get the high and you want more of it. It can be highly addictive! 

I may be wrong but I'm not sure that people who haven't experienced mental difficulties fully appreciate feeling good.  And maybe that's a reason to be thankful that I have been affected by it. I really appreciate the good days because I know how damned awful the bad days are.  Sometimes it's something small that makes it a good day. Like the sun shining.  Other times its more than that.

This past week has been altogether pretty awesome.  Lots of things have come together; back at work so back in a routine; smaller daughter is back at school and being amazingly organised, self disciplined and motivated; had some good ideas for some upcoming puppet events; spent time with lovely people.   And the little things like a child coming up for a cuddle; a message of appreciation; a smile; a cup of tea.

Yes there have been moments when things haven't been so rosy and I could have given in to the loud voice in my ear but, just as it used to be so easy to succumb to it, it's becoming easier to stand up to it and pursue the better mood. I'm sure it won't always be like this but while it is, I'm going with it!  And when the crap does happen, rather than going down with it, it's important to acknowledge it's there but not to give it any more recognition than is necessary. Ignoring it completely isn't healthy I don't think as it just gets buried, as has happened before but becoming overwhelmed by it is also not good.

I'm not saying I've got this cracked. Not by a long way! But I'm starting to make sense of things. A few people have remarked on how well I am looking (of course I then wonder how bad did I look?!) and what I actually need to say in response to that is "thank you".  Thank you for supporting me thus far. Thank you for caring.  Thank you for giving me the opportunity to explore how I need to change my thinking and behaviours.  Many people have helped me. Some know who they are, almost certainly some don't realise how much they have aided my recovery.  One day I'll be able to tell them.  But for now, thank you just for reading this. Because I guess that means you give a toss.